100 Little Threads
by Mr Mythos
Summary: 100 Dribbles, some other writers on here have been doing some things like this, so I'm doing a discworld one.
1. Chapter 1

**Smelling Soul**

Foul Ole Ron was sitting in a gutter; he had gone in search of a nicely edible boot and had been mugged. Now, the mugger who had committed said mugging was new to the city of Ankh-Morpork, thus having no idea that Foul Ole Ron was perhaps one of the top ten most pointlessly muggable people in Ankh-Mopork, and had caused the mugger annoyance. But, Foul Ole Ron's smell was elsewhere at the time, in fact, atop the tower of Art, taking a breath of fresh air, when a drunken pupil wizard accidentally pushed it off whilst reliving himself off the top of the tower. This caused Foul Ole Ron's smell to tumble off the tower and splatter with a light thump on the street below, this caused a shiver to go down everyone's spine within a 40 foot radius of said splattering. In a gutter in Morpork, Foul Ole Ron was awoken by some strange feeling deep inside his soul

"Millennium Hand an' Shrimp!" he said, and went back to sleep.

1st in 100 groan, just an experiment if what would happen if something were to befall Foul Ole Ron's smell whilst parted from him.


	2. Red Cart, Yellow Cart

**Red Cart, Yellow Cart**

Sergeant Detritus had cornered the thief, the man had no weapons and had resisted arrest, and now he was backed up against the river Ankh, and let's face it, no thief in their right mind would try escaping that way, he'd probably turn up somewhere near Krull about two weeks later, that is, if nothing decided to eat him first.

"Wait!" said the thief "before you apprehend me, do you like tongue twisters?"

Sergeant Detritus paused, he had not the slightest idea what a tongue twister was, so, he gave a natural answer, which was:

"Uh, sure" the thief grinned nastily when Detritus said this

"Right, copy what I say" the thief began, very slowly "Red Cart, Yellow cart. And keep saying it over and over"

"Red cart. Yellow cart, Red cart yellow cart" started Sergeant Detritus, the thief thought his seemingly clever plan would trick the troll into a state of confusion, so he could make an escape, but it appeared the watch Sergeant was getting faster, and eventually, he stopped, saying,

"What was that supposed to do?" said Detritus, blinking at the criminal, the criminal blinked back

"U-uh, h-how about this one: How much wood could a wood chuck chu-" but he was cut of by a large finger tapping him on the side of the head, lightly to the troll, but to a human it was enough to knock one out.

Now, you may be wondering why Detritus' troll mind wasn't confused by the thief's cunning plan, this is because trolls are made out of stone, and stone cannot be twisted unless under extreme heat, and since it was mid winter on the day this happened, Sergeant Detritus' tongue was in no mind of being twisted.

2nd one! Woo, only 98 more to go! Well, just combining good ol' science with typical Disworld Fizz-ics


	3. Twoflower's Epiphany

**Twoflower's Epiphany **

Twoflower nudged Rincewind

"Rincewind, are you awake?" said the little man. They had taken shelter in a cave somewhere near somewhere else. The (technically) wizard turned over on his side and mumbled,

"Sod off"

Twoflower regarded this as a 'no' and sat up. He had begun to think, after all the things they had been through, a tavern brawl, an attempted assassination, a fire, a troll, an ancient god, dragons, and hundreds of other exciting things, well, that was just it, now he thought about it, they didn't seem exactly...exciting, more…hazardous, or life threatening. Those seemed like appropriate descriptive words, and he was starting to feel extremely glad he had taken _life-en-sewer-ants_.

The Disc's first tourist took off his glasses and breathed on them, then rubbed them on his trousers, before putting them back on. Life suddenly seemed bloody awful; Twoflower was beginning to see the light, the horribly dim, flickering light.

"Maybe, maybe Rincewind is right" said Twoflower, examining a rather large spider crawl over Rincewind's face.

"Maybe, maybe life is the abysmal, terrible, cesspit he claims it to be" he continued, watching the spider crawl up the wizard's robe.

The tourist sighed, he looked away and at the moonlight spilling in through the cave mouth, he took one _rhinu _out and examined it. Twoflower heard a loud yelled and whipped round, he quickly put the _rhinu _away. Rincewind was stamping around the cave and clutching his groin, there was a crunching noise and a satisfied grunt, and the wizard settled down again and resumed snoring.

Twoflower thought, maybe life isn't such a drag after all. He settled down with his head resting on the Luggage's lid, and fell asleep.

3rd in 100! I bet this idea has gone through every Discworld fan's minds, hasn't it?


	4. Wizarding Witness

**Wizarding Witness**

It was early evening in the city of Ankh-Morpork, and Rincewind the wizard was quivering under the stares of three watchmen, well two watchmen and a watchwoman. Captain Carrot stared down at the little man (who was considerably shorter than him) and said,

"Don't worry, you're not in trouble, we just need to know who started the fight."

Rincewind looked nervously at Corporal Nobbs, who wrinkled his nose and began cleaning his ear with his small finger, then inspected it before inserting the finger in his mouth. Now, normally Carrot's voice could calm almost anybody, but Rincewind's fear was one of the only attributes on the entire disc that was perhaps able to hold against Carrot's Charisma.

"Look, could please tell us which bloody troll it was?" growled Sergeant Angua, who was thoroughly annoyed, mainly because it had taken at least half an hour to calm the whimpering wizard. Rincewind shrunk under her stare.

"Now, sergeant, it wasn't necessarily a troll" tittered Captain Carrot

"Yes, the day it _wasn't_ a troll is the day Satan goes to work in a snowplough" muttered Angua quietly.

"I-I'm afraid of telling you" squeaked Rincewind, pulling his robe over his nose

"What ever for?" asked Carrot, bending down to be eyelevel with the man

"Because I'm afraid if I tell you, I may lose my head" said Rincewind

"I think 'e means it literally, captain" pointed Nobby, sounding very modest

"Don't be silly corporal, I'm sure he was speaking metaphorically" said Carrot, smiling

"Well, he, he didn't say 'you're gonna lose your head', he actually said 'If you rat me out to dem watch people, I'm gonna rip yew up and tear off yer 'ead with me teef, and suck out yer insides!' was, uh, was more what he said" explained Rincewind.

"Well, maybe he was speaking metaphorically" shrugged Carrot.

((4th in 100! Don't know why I put Rincewind there, he seemed like a good character to use.))


	5. Little Nuisances

**Little Nuisances****

* * *

**

"Crivens!" cried Rob Anybody "Tha' Man-hag's a fast 'un!"

Rincewind was tearing down the road, a rather large mass of blue and red only just behind him. Half an hour earlier he had been dropping by the town of Two-shirts to see a cousin he didn't really like, but, then again, his cousin _did_ have very safe house. But, as Rincewind had discovered sometime after midnight, his cousin's house wasn't so safe after all. His vision had focused and around 70 little blue men stared up at him from various points around the room, one sitting on his cousin's spare room's bedside table had looked up and said in a rather squeaky voice,

"Ah, Rob, 'a think the man-hag's awakin'!"

This had resulted in Rincewind screaming and diving off the bed (Still in nightgown) and out the door at a run, the feegles soon following. He tore down the stares and struggled with the back door for a moment, giving Big Yan enough time to stab his sword through the hem of Rincewind's nightgown, causing the failed wizard to yell even more.

Rincewind had hared over the back lawn, jumping the fence and breaking into the forest, the little blue men still followed him. He tore his nightgown and tripped up, making the yells of "Crivens!" and "Get 'im!" come closer, making Rincewind jump up and run faster.

Now, this had gone on for while, and admittedly, he thought he had met his match, the failed wizard puffed, while the feegles began to gain on him. Rincewind put on a last spurt of speed, before tripping up again and blacking out.

"Is he deid?" asked Daft Wullie, prodding Rincewind with the end of his sword

"Nay, he's just tired oot, 'a hear they foul their wee pants if they die" replied Rob Anybody

* * *

5th in 100! What if Rincewind had an unfortunate run in with the feegles? May add a sequel where Rincie meets Tiffany. Oh, and I assumed the feegles call wizards man-hags, becuase of the popular misconception that they are very similar. 


	6. Death's Study

**Death's Study**

* * *

Death scribbled along a grey piece of paper with a grey quill from a grey inkwell. Thus was everything in the house of Death. Everything a human could ever need all carefully observed and copied by Death. But they lacked the certain…importance. What was the point of having a servant if you needn't eat, or the house never got dirty? 

Death liked to think this was because it was the proper thing to do. But this was not so, for Death had Albert there only for one reason: he was lonely. Although Death only existed for a singular reason, being around human had caused him to carry some of the humans with him, rather like a bumblebee.

But, Death would disregard any attempt to realise this, for, even though he had all the material things of a human, he had been told by the Auditors, that he was, under no circumstances, become human.

Albert rapped his knuckles on the door of Death's study

"**COME IN, ALBERT"** intoned Death, almost letting out a sigh.

"How did you know it was me, sir?" questioned Albert as he scuttled into the doorway

"**WELL, WHO ELSE COULD IT BE? THERE'S NO ONE HERE BUT YOU, AND ME"**

"Uh, yes sir said Albert "there's news goin' round, sir, that, uh, a philosopher has discovered that there is a huge meteorite headed for the disc, it's been prophesised to submerge the entire Counterweight Continent and there will be no survivors." Death sighed, he needn't, for he didn't breath, but it was probably for what was called 'dramatic emphasis.' Albert shuffled out again.

Death rested his quill in its inkwell and pondered. He pondered what would happen if he threw caution to the wind and threw back his robes and tossed aside his scythe and embraced the sunlight. He didn't have an idea in hell what the Auditors would do. Would they be able to find him? Of course they would, they were the Auditors.

Death imagined it, being human, not feeling every death that happened on the disc, and perhaps having to worry for a family or something that would seem petty to him.

Death sighed again. He stood up and picked up his scythe from its resting against a bookshelf. He looked out of the window at the oncoming flaming rock, he walked towards the door as the grandfather clock droned that it was eight 'o'clock.

"**WELL, TIME TO GO TO WORK" **said Death, opening the door.

* * *

Wow, I really liked how I ended that. 6th in 100! Wow, 94 more Ideas to go! 


	7. A Bad Combination

**A Bad Combination**

Angua padded along the street beside Corporal Nobbs. They had been tracking the criminal for an hour and a half now, yet Nobby's "unique" scent had so far blocked out everything. The constant smell of cigarettes and unwashed body flooding her heightened nasal senses like someone had poisoned the canal of her nose and then blown a hole in the dam.

It wasn't that she didn't _like_ Nobby. In fact, Corporal Nobbs was quite a likeable person...once you got past the smell and the urge to suddenly examine the back of your hand whenever he made eye contact. It was just he was a...inconvenience. She'd normally pair up with Carrot, but Vimes had told her today was a good day for change.

Nobby was prattling on about the latest issue of whatever violent and dirty magazine he read. Angua wanted to tell him to shut up but, being a wolf, lacked the correct voice box for this action. Instead she made a low growl. She had a scent.

Nobby froze. Like most members of the watch, he kept something of silver on him at most times, and began to reach for his helmet, where a small silver snuffbox was kept.

Angua raced off into the mist, leaving Nobby alone.

Sergeant C W St. J Nobbs lit a small dogend in the darkness.

He heard a yell from somewhere to the west, then a yelp. He hefted his crossbow a little higher, sighed, and ran full speed towards the yelling; screaming something only the vocal chords of a Nobbs could create.

((Woop! Just to see Angua and Nobby together...Grin))


End file.
